Today’s Mood: Bitchy with a chance of sarcasm.
When I see rich, snooty looking women at the grocery store, I pretend I need something and say “excuse me, do you work here?” just to help keep things real.
Sometimes I get road rage from standing in lines.
Some days I do yoga and don’t yell at my kids. Some days I scream at them while eating cake over the kitchen sink. It’s called balance.
I’m a woman. I have needs. Pass me the wine.
If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI
When a woman says “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you – she’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
Never trust a girl who doesn’t fart – who knows what else she’s hiding from you.