Thumb Shuffle – The little dance your thumbs do when you aren’t sure how to reply to a text.
“Duck Faces really make you look smart and classy” said NO ONE EVER.
Married Sexting: I’m not wearing any underwear because you never put the fucking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times.
I didn’t text you – Vodka did.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female