Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered…”who ties your shoelaces for you?”
“Duck Faces really make you look smart and classy” said NO ONE EVER.
Married Sexting: I’m not wearing any underwear because you never put the fucking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times.
Today’s Mood: Bitchy with a chance of sarcasm.
I never realized how much I swear until I’m in a situation where I can’t.
If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.
Out of all my body part I feel like my eyes are in the best shape – I do at least a thousand eye rolls a day.
Of course I talk to myself – sometimes I need expert advice
SARCASM: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.