Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking
Only 2 things can change a woman’s mood: 1- I love you 2- 50% Discount
If you like someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI
We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
Sometimes I look at my husband and I think “Damn you are one lucky man”