I don’t remember much from last night but the fact that I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome
Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking
If you like someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.
Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI