You call them swear words. I call them sentence enhancers.
The older you get the more you realize that no one has a fucking clue what they’re doing. Everyone’s just winging it.
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
When I die, friends will go to my funeral, good friends will cry at my funeral, but my best friend will change my Facebook status to “Chillin’ with Jesus”.
I would call my fashion style “clothes that still fit”.
I would be more inclined to grow up if I saw that it worked out for everyone else.
Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.
People my age are so much older than me.
When I asked for a smokin’ hot body, menopause was NOT what I had in mind.
I thought I was in a bad mood but it’s been a few years so I guess this is who I am now