I think that stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills
Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered…”who ties your shoelaces for you?”
Only 2 things can change a woman’s mood: 1- I love you 2- 50% Discount
If you like someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated like shit had it coming.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich.
If a woman tells you that you’re right, that’s called sarcasm.