If you eat well, get good sleep, exercise, and drink plenty of water, you’ll die anyway.
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
Benjamin Franklin…huge stoner. Do you know how stoned you have to be to think about electricity when there’s no electricity?
Thumb Shuffle – The little dance your thumbs do when you aren’t sure how to reply to a text.
“Duck Faces really make you look smart and classy” said NO ONE EVER.
When someone posts a selfie, I always wonder how many pictures they took before they decided they had the perfect one.
I hope you appreciate the effort I put into NOT correcting your grammar.
Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.
Fuck it! Always my final thought before making a decision.
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.