You call them swear words. I call them sentence enhancers.
Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies???
I think that stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills
Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered…”who ties your shoelaces for you?”
If you like someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.
My life is just a series of awkward and humiliated moments separated by snacks
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
The older you get the more you realize that no one has a fucking clue what they’re doing. Everyone’s just winging it.
I’m the type of person that spends 20 minutes rearranging the dishwasher to avoid doing 10 minutes of dishes.